


courage of stars

by mattboyd



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Just a lil something, M/M, Stargazing, andrew thinks of his life and how far hes come, based off of one of nora's extra content things, wrote this cause i Love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22567717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattboyd/pseuds/mattboyd
Summary: they're a few years in the future and andrew reflects a lot on life.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	courage of stars

**Author's Note:**

> this lil thing is inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/ajminyards/status/943340114012405766) when i asked nora a couple years back.  
> i relate to andrew a lot so i think about his way of thinking a lot. like a lot. i love him so much okay u guys  
> enjoy this idk what this is

How little he feels.

Staring into the bright specks of light that dot the night sky, he wonders. Wonders about how he's gotten this far in life.

Neil and he have gotten well on their way to becoming stars in the Exy world, and yet sometimes it all doesn't feel real. Like he couldn't believe it's all come true. Even though he's never actively wished for such, he knew in the back of his mind that it was something he would rather prefer having in his life.

A reason to live. A home to come back to. Safety. Warmth.

Him.

Neil settles beside him on their back patio of their home-- _their_ home-- with two mugs in each hand. He hands one over to him with a soft smile, light shining in his eyes. As he breathes, he can see it in the cold air that surrounds them.

Surreal.

Heat travels into his palms as he takes hold of the mug, but doesn't take a sip just yet. Though the touch of it helps bring him back, he's been out of touch with himself. His body. It's one reason as to why he likes sitting on the porch so much.

Their house is just on the outskirts of the city, away from light pollution. It makes it all the better for him to have such a good view of the sky for times like this.

Bad days have become less and less, but that doesn't mean they don't hit as hard. He knows how to handle them, how to take them apart and deal with it piece by piece, but it can still make his skin become numb, like static.

Neil is good for some of those days. He knows when to come and when to go. He knows when a touch is needed and when it is not. A soft kiss. A hand to be held. A body to lean against. He knew he would be there for him always.

One day, he will bring himself to say the words out loud--those words that he feels so deeply in his chest that it hurts.

Of course, Neil knows that right now is an okay time to be nearby. He sits silently, shoulder against his. He's wearing that over-sized hoodie that he loves to steal from him so much.

_(He doesn't mind since it starts to smell like him.)_

"Staring."

Neil lets out of soft laugh. "Just trying to see what you're thinking."

"Not anything. Everything at once. Don't know."

He nods, understanding exactly what he means. He has those days as well.

He sighs and looks away from Neil, and up again into the dark night that watches over them. In the corner of his eye, he can see the moon's light resting gently across Neil's face.

"The progress. The healing. That we've made. I think about it, especially during these days. And it helps to remember that we've overcome what we didn't think we could."

He sees Neil's eyes widen, just a fraction, barely noticeable, as if he were surprised that he spoke of that in such a way. Probably thinking how seeing Bee and his sessions are actually doing work.

He smiles then, outshining all the stars and the moon and everything in this world, and tugs the sleeves of the hoodie past down his hands, coffee already forgotten.

"Can I kiss you?"

He wish his heart still didn't skip a beat, after all this time.

He thinks Neil is trying to kill him.

He breathes, "Yes."

As Neil takes his face in both of his hands--that are _home--_ with the universe illuminating from above them, both of the cats joining them on the porch and twirling their tails around their bodies, he realizes it.

He realizes he's made it.

**Author's Note:**

> i really could have wrote more like abt constellations but like...brain bad not here  
> this is the first thing ive written for anything besides an English class in YEARS...but i miss them so much ok. im terrified posting this bbut feedback is always welcome and appreciated ;v; check me out on [tumblr](http://minyardandrew.tumblr.com)?


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